


False Hope

by nowheretohide



Category: Coronation Street
Genre: F/F, kate connor/ rana nazir - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-05-06 03:34:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14633235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nowheretohide/pseuds/nowheretohide





	False Hope

 

Rana ran out of Speed Dahl, the feel of Zeedans lips still against hers. She leant back against the door way and closed her eyes. How had her life turned into such complete and utter carnage?

She walked round to Imrans, knowing he would still be with their mum and let herself in, she needed to be away from everything right now. Why was it always one step forward and two steps back? Since this whole mess started it felt like she was no further towards getting her life on track, if anything it felt like she was slipping backwards?

She helped herself to a bottle of Merlot from her brothers wine rack, poured herself the biggest glass she could find and lay down on the sofa, her head banging and mind racing.

At the moment it felt like time after time she was getting screwed over and hurt by this woman who was supposed to love her, supposed to be her soulmate. But sometimes Kate just didn’t seem to get her, understand or sometimes even care about her feelings. She had meant what she’d said to Kate at the restaurant, it felt like it was always about what Kate wanted, what was best for her, not them and definitely not Rana.

How could she take a decision as big as getting her mum arrested without consultation, in fact scrap that, she had talked to her about it and yet still completely ignored Ranas wishes, it was like her opinion didn’t matter, it was the same when Kate told Zee that it was her that Rana had been seeing, she hadn’t thought about the consequences for one second, even though Rana had opened her heart up to her about just how badly her parents would take it, how scared she was of their reaction and her fear that she would lose them forever. Then after Kate had casually dropped that bombshell she just walked away, she didn’t even apologise or try and talk to Rana about the affect it might have on her, she just left her to deal with the atom bomb of a fallout on her own and went off with Sophie. Kate was supposed to love her, supposed to have been devastated that Rana hadn’t left Zee, yet she had replaced her within a couple of weeks, throwing her relationship with Sophie in her face. Why couldn’t Kate understand that she didn’t need to be insecure or doubt Rana’s love for her, she had given up everything to be with Kate, thrown everything solid in her life away just so she could be with her but it wasn’t enough.

She was so reactive and hot headed at times! So bloody annoying! So selfish. She always tried to force issues and get her own way without listening to reason. Rana couldn’t even talk to her about these things because she always just flew off the handle and took everything as criticism. How the hell would she react when she knew Zeedan had kissed her? How had that even happened? He’d just done it and she’d been too upset about Kate to see it coming. Now she was a cheat… Again!!

She felt sorry for Zeedan, she hadn’t meant to give him any false signals, she thought they could just be friends, now she was going to have to let him down all over again. He was a solid reliable man and she knew that he would have run over hot coals for her. He  had such a big heart and he’d been so good to her even after all the hurt she’d put him through, recently anyway. He still cared about her, he still tried to protect her, but it wasn’t him she needed playing that role anymore, it was Kate and yes, she’d tried to protect her, but had got it so very wrong. Admittedly she was in this mess with her parents because of Zeedan, or actually, if she was being reasonable was she? He had played his part for sure, but, essentially Rana herself had caused it all by pursuing Kate, and then it was Kate who had made it worse by telling Zeedan that she was the subject of Rana’s affair. Zeedan just pulled the trigger, all the ammunition had been provided by the two women.

Maybe all of this was just Rana’s own fault, she only had herself to blame. She was the one who had pursued Zeedan, against Alya’s wishes, but she eventually reeled him in, making him fall for her, knowing he was exactly the kind of man her parents would adore. Then it was Rana again that had pursued Kate. Kate hadn’t done anything, given Rana any kind of sign at all. It was Rana who had forced the issue, making Kate look at how she felt, kissing her, offering to not marry Zeedan. Why was she never just happy with what she had? Why had she decided to rip all three of their lives apart?

She knew why, it was because being with Kate made her feel complete, when Rana had kissed her it had felt like everything she’d been missing from her life had just clicked into place. She had felt this was where she belonged and the more she had thought about Kate, the more she wanted to think about her and the more she simply couldn’t stop thinking about her, every minute of every day. She had never felt that way about Zeedan, he had been a challenge to her as he didn’t give in as easily as most men had to Rana, she had had to work hard to get him but she had never thought about him constantly like she had about Kate, she had never loved someone so deeply as she did her, or been so desperate to have someone love her back, her heart had opened up and been completely consumed by the depth of her feelings for Kate. 

She loved Kate, in a totally different way to how she had loved Zeedan, and she did still love Zeedan, platonically. Both Yasmeen, especially Yasmeen, and him had been far more kind to her than she deserved after what she’d done. Zeedan had been a steady, constant companion, always there, always reliable, it was comfortable and easy,  it that was all when she looked back. Just going through the motions of a relationship.

Easy! Now that definitely was not a label that could ever be placed on hers and Kates relationship, it had been such hard work to get where they were, a constant stream of tears and misunderstandings and angst and apologies, but the moments that were good were amazing and to her worth every second of anguish,  she knew that eventually it was those moments that would be common place and fill her future with Kate, a future she hoped would be forever.

Rana let out a long sigh and started on her 2nd glass of wine. She couldn’t leave this flat. She couldn’t go and see Kate because she was so angry at her right now, she needed her to start listening to Rana and stop going off half cocked. She also couldn’t face Kate because she had just kissed Zeedan, it might have been Zeedan that had kissed her but she didn’t stop him, and she didn’t pull away, not in time anyway and that new waitress had seen them she could already have told Alya who would take great delight no doubt in telling Kate. She was consumed with guilt, how could she have done that? Oh god. What a mess! 

She walked over to the kitchen and rummaged through the drawers until she found some pain killers. If only there was a pill that could make everything right in her life again.

She had to avoid Zeedan now too, Kate had been right, he was still in love with her, she was going to hurt him all over again. She had done exactly what Kate had warned her about and given him false hope, because it was false, whatever happened with her & Kate she just didn’t feel that way about Zeedan anymore. It had been so long since she’d kissed him, even before she left him she had avoided it at every opportunity because of her feelings for Kate. Although she’d obviously kissed him a lot in the past his mouth now felt alien to her, all the contact did was affirm her feelings for Kate and that she needed to put things right between them.

Her mind drifted to kissing Kate, in particular the second time they had kissed, when Kate had kissed her, at the Nazirs, right before the wedding, that was the one that stuck in her mind, it had given her the hope that her & Kate could be together, that she might love Rana, that she wasn’t alone in her feelings, it was a kiss she’d never felt anything like before, so soft, gentle, loving, yet almost electric in its intensity and the sex was insane, Kate made Rana feel things she’d never known were possible, gave her orgasms that made her vision blur.

Rana closed her eyes, she was a terrible person, she had cheated on Zeedan with Kate and now on Kate with Zeedan. She deserved to be on her own. She didn’t want to be this person. She hated hurting people. She just wanted a simple life with someone she loved and who loved her, but she always destroyed everything and everyone around her.

She felt like she really had lost everything as she lay there, except Imran of course, he was her rock. She had lost Zeedan and his family, a family she had been welcomed into with open arms, she had lost her home and now potentially Kate as well, she had pushed her away, refused to talk to her because of her anger but Kate had been right about Zeedan, about giving him false hope, she had warned Rana what might happen and she hadn’t taken Kate seriously. She hadn’t taken her seriously because Rana knew her heart was with Kate and couldn’t understand the insecurity her girlfriend felt. Why didn’t she know how deeply Rana was in love with her and that that was why Kates betrayal that day had hurt so much.

She heard the key in the lock and turned to see Imran coming in.

‘Hey’ he said, surprised to see his sister on his sofa

‘Hey’ she said ‘How’s mum?’

‘She’s a bit shaken, but she’ll be ok, to be fair Rana, I don’t think it will have done her any harm to see just how serious what she tried to do was, I don’t think they’ll try anything else after this scare.  He saw the tears on his sister’s face and the half-drunk bottle of wine and asked gently ‘What’s wrong?’

‘It was Kate’

‘What was?’

‘Who called the police, it was her, not Zeedan’

‘Oh’

‘I know, I don’t know what she was thinking, I’m so angry at her’

‘I can imagine’ said Imran sitting down beside his sister and holding his arm up for her to nestle into

‘Why would she do that when I specifically said I didn’t want her to?’

‘Maybe she was just trying to protect you?’

‘What, by making things worse? Dad told me he wished I’d never been born, do you know how much that hurts Imran’ said Ran, tears falling once more ‘I thought if I gave them time they’d get past this, but now she’s made sure that will never happen, how could she do that to me?’

‘Look, Rana, I totally agree, what Kate did was incredibly stupid and showed a massive lack of understanding of our situation, but, like I said, it probably will stop them trying to take you again and it was coming from a good place’

‘But she should have talked to me first! Our communication is terrible, how can I trust her if she can go behind my back like that? It should have been a decision we took together. She knows how much I want our parents to forgive me, now they may never’

‘Then that’s something you need to work on, all relationships need work and look at what you’ve given up for her Rana’

Rana was well aware of what she’d given up and wouldn’t have changed any of it.

Imran continued ‘If you don’t talk to her, at least try to sort things out, you’ll have blown up all our lives, not just yours, for nothing, you must have thought she was worth it to put yourself through all this in the first place’

‘I do think she’s worth it, I’ve never doubted that’

‘Well then…We all make mistakes and no relationship is perfect’

’Ours is far from perfect’

’You still living with your husband isn’t going to be helping that is it?’

’I know, and I should be more understanding of that I guess, I’d hate it if it was the other way round and it gets worse’

’How?’

‘Zeedan kissed me’

‘What? When?’

‘About an hour ago, in the kitchen, I kissed him back, only briefly, but I didn’t stop him’

‘You can not tell Kate that if you want to fix this’

Of course I want to fix it, but I’m going to have to tell her, the waitress saw us, either her or Zeedan could say something and then she’ll go mental if she’s not heard it from me, she’s going to go mental anyway. It wasn’t anything to me but I have to get her to understand that and I don’t know if she will. I think she doubts my commitment. What am I going to do Imran?’

Rana looked at her phone or the first time since she’d left Speed Dahl, she had two messages.

**_Rana please come back, we need to talk. Zx_ **

Her heart sank, what was she going to say to him? She was going to have to let him down all over again, reopen his wounds. Then from Kate

**_Baby I’m so sorry, I hate it when we fight, I know you hate me right now and I don’t blame you, I should have listened, I was wrong and I know I need to be better, I’m sorry, please talk to me, I love you xx_ **

She showed the messages to Imran ‘What am I going to do?’

‘You, little sis, are going to finish this bottle of wine with me and then you need to go and talk to Kate before this all festers any longer’

Rana read her message again, those three words were all she ever needed to hear from Kate to make her stomach flip with excitement, her brother was right, she just needed to face this head on, she needed to break the ties with Zee, stop hurting Kate once and for all, she’d spent too much time hiding things, denying things and for once at least Kate was acknowledging she was in the wrong, that was a step forward. She just hoped it wouldn’t be another step back when she mentioned the kiss.

‘You’re right, as always, I’m still furious with her for not respecting my wishes, but, at the end of the day I love her Imran and I want our future together’

’You just need to talk it out, it’s still new, you have to find your way as a couple’

’and we can’t do that until I move out, how would you feel about me moving in with you for a while?’

’you know you’re always welcome here, Kate too’

’Thanks Imran, I just hope she forgives me...’


End file.
